OSS # 128: Inconsiderate
Talk About A Heart-break
A: Hey, how are you?
B: I'm stressed these days.
A: Why? What's wrong?
B: We went to a lawyer last Tuesday for a divorce.
A: Did you try a marriage counselor first?
B: I wanted to but he doesn't.
A: Sorry to hear about that.
B: The other woman works at Blessing.
A: What? You're in the states and the other woman is here? How did she became a threat?
B: I think he wants to bring her here. I wasn't able to go home with them last December. That was when they met. He's been pushing for a divorce since his return.
A: What did your parents say?
B: They don't know yet. Only my grandma and sis know.
A: You have to tell your parents. You need all the support you can get.
B: I asked God for a sign. Please pray for us.
A: I'll pray for you, sis. Sometimes God already give us a sign. We just ignore it.
B: True...maybe.
A: Try to make sense of the situation. That in itself is a sign.
B: It's really depressing. I'm trying to retrace my steps to figure out what went wrong.
A: You need a vacation.
B: I desperately need one. Maybe in August.
A: Why can't you have a vacation now? To clear your head.
B: I'm still studying. Classes ends in June.
A: Can you continue studying in that kind of situation? Are you still living with your husband?
B: I have to make everything work. I still have three chapters worth of assignment. And yes, we're still living together.
A: Can't you live somewhere else? It's stressful living with someone you don't trust.
B: I'm planning to kick him out. This is my family's house. And sometimes I'm really scared.
A: Try to find someone who can stay with you. A family.
B: Two weeks ago, he got a knife. He said that if I won't set him free, he will kill himself. I didn't want to get divorced...
A: Your husband must be really sick in the head!
B: I won't forget that night. I almost dialed 911. I reported it to a family counselor.
A: What did the counselor say?
B: She said Jack is miserable and that he has so many emotional baggage. She advised me to let him go. But I'm willing to give him unconditional love. Selfless. I never imagine it would hurt this bad.
A: Selfless?! I hope you won't mind if I doubt you're selfless. You want what you want which is staying together - not selfless.
B: I didn't sign the divorce papers... I'm still thinking of the sanctity of marriage. That's selfless.
A: You know what I think? I think you're just afraid of what other people will say when you get divorced.
B: No!
A: Selfless for me is letting somebody free.
B: I have a son, little John. We have a family.
A: You see! Do you think it's safe for little John to grow up with domestic violence? Doesn't John deserve a safe home?
B: That is why I reported the incident to the legal aide. I sent an email to the other woman. No reply still. I hate it when people don't reply to my email.
A: Sis, the other woman is not the problem. Even if the other woman decides to stay away, your husband can still look for another.
B: This is what I wrote her...
Dear Menchu,
This must be a surprise to you or maybe not. My husband told me not to email you or should I say warned me violently to an extent. However I could not just stay silent while my family is being broken apart by someone who may or may not have good intentions or reasons. In my mind I don't think there will be good enough reason though.
I want you to know that I love my husband Jack and I love my child John with my whole entire being. I want the best for my family and for myself. I didn't mean to intrude on your emails but I think I have the right to find a way to know who I am fighting against. For that matter I want my "enemy" to know me as well.
It pains me to know that someone would like to ruin my family. I expect nothing less but the most gracious understanding heart from you no matter what. I suspect that my husband might have told you something about me that made you assume that I don't exist. BUT I DO. I am half of John and I have a claim on Jack, legally I am his wife and he has my heart. It would be best for you to know more about me. I am Jill Sumaklang. Other than my name, my family, I should say you now have a grasp on who I am. At least I think it will be fair on both our sides to know that you are consciously doing what you are doing.
My aim in this email is not to hurt you nor Jack. No one should interfere with one's mate. Love is unconditional and selfless. I am hoping you could not even think of hurting me if you know that I love Jack. For now, he is convinced that I am the cause of unhappiness as my husband thinks you might be his happiness. It hurts so much to have him think this way. I don't know how much of it may be true as I cannot see the future but I can see the now.
I would think that you can agree that I am entitled to be a little bit selfish and protective of my family, of myself. I do have a right and I am in the right. For seven years of marriage, our anniversary is next week January 26th, we have our share of ups and downs but we have survived. I have lived through a lot of difficulties with my husband on my side, without whom I would have crumbled. It is my hope that YOU will not knowingly destroy MY LIFE and MY JOHN'S LIFE this way.
I am praying with all heart and for the sake of all that I love that you will be the one to make the right decision. I am wishing you can make the right choice for all our sakes. Men are not strong enough for selfless sacrifices such as this that is why I am hoping against all odds that you will be. You will be the only one who could help me. Please be my friend and care for me, for my family. It is a big thing to ask but I am not a stranger. With all the faith that I can give.
Jill
A: "Men are not strong enough for selfless sacrifices." Isn't that sexist?!
B: Did you even get where I'm coming from?
A: I understand you.
B: I swallowed my pride and asked for my husband back. I don't even get a reply.
A: I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to write the letter. I can't imagine how you did it. You sounded calm in the letter.
B: I was shaking when I first wrote it. I couldn't help crying when I finished it.
A: But believe me, even if Menchu left Jack, he will still look for another. He's still the unfaithful husband, someone who has a tendency to be violent.
B: Hey, it's already 4AM here. I need to get back to my assignments. Pray for me and my family.
A: I'll pray for you sis. God bless.
B: Thanks. I really need your prayers.
A: I really admire your strength.
B: You, too. Be strong.
A: >:D<
B: Haaayy...Thanks. Hugs back.
Moral Lesson: Do your homework. So you'll have one thing less to worry about.
A: Hey, how are you?
B: I'm stressed these days.
A: Why? What's wrong?
B: We went to a lawyer last Tuesday for a divorce.
A: Did you try a marriage counselor first?
B: I wanted to but he doesn't.
A: Sorry to hear about that.
B: The other woman works at Blessing.
A: What? You're in the states and the other woman is here? How did she became a threat?
B: I think he wants to bring her here. I wasn't able to go home with them last December. That was when they met. He's been pushing for a divorce since his return.
A: What did your parents say?
B: They don't know yet. Only my grandma and sis know.
A: You have to tell your parents. You need all the support you can get.
B: I asked God for a sign. Please pray for us.
A: I'll pray for you, sis. Sometimes God already give us a sign. We just ignore it.
B: True...maybe.
A: Try to make sense of the situation. That in itself is a sign.
B: It's really depressing. I'm trying to retrace my steps to figure out what went wrong.
A: You need a vacation.
B: I desperately need one. Maybe in August.
A: Why can't you have a vacation now? To clear your head.
B: I'm still studying. Classes ends in June.
A: Can you continue studying in that kind of situation? Are you still living with your husband?
B: I have to make everything work. I still have three chapters worth of assignment. And yes, we're still living together.
A: Can't you live somewhere else? It's stressful living with someone you don't trust.
B: I'm planning to kick him out. This is my family's house. And sometimes I'm really scared.
A: Try to find someone who can stay with you. A family.
B: Two weeks ago, he got a knife. He said that if I won't set him free, he will kill himself. I didn't want to get divorced...
A: Your husband must be really sick in the head!
B: I won't forget that night. I almost dialed 911. I reported it to a family counselor.
A: What did the counselor say?
B: She said Jack is miserable and that he has so many emotional baggage. She advised me to let him go. But I'm willing to give him unconditional love. Selfless. I never imagine it would hurt this bad.
A: Selfless?! I hope you won't mind if I doubt you're selfless. You want what you want which is staying together - not selfless.
B: I didn't sign the divorce papers... I'm still thinking of the sanctity of marriage. That's selfless.
A: You know what I think? I think you're just afraid of what other people will say when you get divorced.
B: No!
A: Selfless for me is letting somebody free.
B: I have a son, little John. We have a family.
A: You see! Do you think it's safe for little John to grow up with domestic violence? Doesn't John deserve a safe home?
B: That is why I reported the incident to the legal aide. I sent an email to the other woman. No reply still. I hate it when people don't reply to my email.
A: Sis, the other woman is not the problem. Even if the other woman decides to stay away, your husband can still look for another.
B: This is what I wrote her...
Dear Menchu,
This must be a surprise to you or maybe not. My husband told me not to email you or should I say warned me violently to an extent. However I could not just stay silent while my family is being broken apart by someone who may or may not have good intentions or reasons. In my mind I don't think there will be good enough reason though.
I want you to know that I love my husband Jack and I love my child John with my whole entire being. I want the best for my family and for myself. I didn't mean to intrude on your emails but I think I have the right to find a way to know who I am fighting against. For that matter I want my "enemy" to know me as well.
It pains me to know that someone would like to ruin my family. I expect nothing less but the most gracious understanding heart from you no matter what. I suspect that my husband might have told you something about me that made you assume that I don't exist. BUT I DO. I am half of John and I have a claim on Jack, legally I am his wife and he has my heart. It would be best for you to know more about me. I am Jill Sumaklang. Other than my name, my family, I should say you now have a grasp on who I am. At least I think it will be fair on both our sides to know that you are consciously doing what you are doing.
My aim in this email is not to hurt you nor Jack. No one should interfere with one's mate. Love is unconditional and selfless. I am hoping you could not even think of hurting me if you know that I love Jack. For now, he is convinced that I am the cause of unhappiness as my husband thinks you might be his happiness. It hurts so much to have him think this way. I don't know how much of it may be true as I cannot see the future but I can see the now.
I would think that you can agree that I am entitled to be a little bit selfish and protective of my family, of myself. I do have a right and I am in the right. For seven years of marriage, our anniversary is next week January 26th, we have our share of ups and downs but we have survived. I have lived through a lot of difficulties with my husband on my side, without whom I would have crumbled. It is my hope that YOU will not knowingly destroy MY LIFE and MY JOHN'S LIFE this way.
I am praying with all heart and for the sake of all that I love that you will be the one to make the right decision. I am wishing you can make the right choice for all our sakes. Men are not strong enough for selfless sacrifices such as this that is why I am hoping against all odds that you will be. You will be the only one who could help me. Please be my friend and care for me, for my family. It is a big thing to ask but I am not a stranger. With all the faith that I can give.
Jill
A: "Men are not strong enough for selfless sacrifices." Isn't that sexist?!
B: Did you even get where I'm coming from?
A: I understand you.
B: I swallowed my pride and asked for my husband back. I don't even get a reply.
A: I can't imagine how hard it must have been for you to write the letter. I can't imagine how you did it. You sounded calm in the letter.
B: I was shaking when I first wrote it. I couldn't help crying when I finished it.
A: But believe me, even if Menchu left Jack, he will still look for another. He's still the unfaithful husband, someone who has a tendency to be violent.
B: Hey, it's already 4AM here. I need to get back to my assignments. Pray for me and my family.
A: I'll pray for you sis. God bless.
B: Thanks. I really need your prayers.
A: I really admire your strength.
B: You, too. Be strong.
A: >:D<
B: Haaayy...Thanks. Hugs back.
Moral Lesson: Do your homework. So you'll have one thing less to worry about.
Comments
so, when the love isnt there anymore, friendship remains.
Lalake ang may problema indi yung other woman. Yun lang! =)
kainis ha. ang serious nung dalawa. tapos ang moral lesson. tumbling!
Or something like that.
Coming from a broken family, things like these are hard for me to digest. Lagi ko sinasabi dati that no matter what problems the couple are facing, they must stick together for the sake of their children. Lately my opinion's been changed a bit, seeing the situation of certain people I know. Pero if I were Lady B, I'd probably do the same thing and be all martyr. A Lady A kind of friend would be handy.