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Jan 30, 2009

OSS # 126: Euge's Crisis




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The Day I Won the Ms. Universe Pageant


A textmate once asked me what makes me enter (or leave) a relationship. Had he asked me years before, I would have given him a different answer. But he asked me when I was already old enough to think about growing old.

Gazing at the mirror on the ceiling, my ex asked what will happen to 'us' if we each pursue our own dreams. We both had plans of working abroad. I told him, I don't know. I suggested we wait and see. The truth was I didn't want to think that time, especially about 'us'.

The textmate's question reminded me of me and my ex in the small room that night and the few months after when I decided to break up with the ex. Everything was okay but I never imagined myself growing old with him. There was no image of me and him seated on a porch on our rocking chair on a moonlit night. Although the present was all fun, I didn't see a future. I never told him that. I gave him the its-not-you-its-me speech.

I told the textmate that whenever I see a good chance* (certainty is fiction) that I can grow old with a person, I commit to that person. Whenever I no longer see a future, I end things. I phrased my answer as if I was a candidate in the Ms Universe pageant - with smiles, waves and all. The text reply I sent him instantly gave me 10,000 pogi points! He later told me that it was his cue to take me seriously. We now live and dream together.

Some people want something casual. Some don't even want to grow old. I was just lucky we want the same thing.

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* Assessing if there is a chance deserves a separate blog entry.

11 comments:

Jet'aime said...

Awwwww, hangsweet! Kelan kaya ako magkakaroon? Hehehe =)

Niel Camhalla said...

kapag handa ka na :)

jamie da vinci! said...

same criteria for me.

gentle said...

happy for you neil ;)

PUSANG-gala said...

Niel Camhalla ---what do you mean? diko nagets......I know them personally kasi----

PUSANG-gala said...

ay---nakuha ko na....yug mga lagi ko dinadalaw at lagi ako dinadalaw yan---kasi super dami na sa blog list nakakalimutan ko na minsan---

syempre you are one of them---dikopa nga lang na-uupdate---

paisa-isa palang kasi walang masyado time...


so many things to do but so little time....

sensya na po--keke

Mugen said...

When I felt there is no future waiting for me and my ex (he has a future for me, I have a future for myself) I began the long and difficult process of subtle detachment.

Less than a year later, I broke up.

MkSurf8 said...

always the careless risk-taker, i don't think. i just jump. no talks about future but luckily ours evolved into something deeper too.

anong year ka ba Miss Universe? haha

Victor Gregor said...

a very timely topic for me to ponder on. i am surprised that i could not say anything. seems like i've become too much of a "now" person lately. which is a very bad sign.

ocean said...

Hi friend.. nice cool post.. do visit my blog and post your comments.. take care mate.. Cheers!!!

Looking For The Source said...

happy for you....

i can almost imagine you taking your miss universe walk with the crown on your head! hahah

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